The disability I have chosen to research was post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD):
"You have developed PTSD due to a severe trauma. In your case, this manifests in extreme anxiety and agoraphobia, with bouts of rage."
My understanding of PTSD is that it is caused by experiencing or witnessing a traumatic experience that caused them to cause long-term damages mentally and psychologically and even to an extent to having physical effects. Agoraphobia and rage are the symptoms that come with having PTSD.
I have been clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety, so I would have assumed that what I experience overlaps symptom-wise or experience-wise as someone with PTSD. I have specific triggers similar to PTSD, being mentally exhausted, and had episodes of explosive panic. Although they are identical by being categorised under anxiety, they each have differentiable characteristics where depression is a chronic mood disorder with numb sadness. In contrast, PTSD is a trauma and stressor-related disorder that can develop after a traumatic or stressful event. I did initial internet research on the definition of PTSD, agoraphobia and rage and then more in-depth research about each of the conditions. As well as the assistive techs used when coping with a mental disorder like PTSD - emotional service dogs.
These are the websites and articles I used as a reference that I found helpful and useful in both story and essay:
(Websites & Articles)
National Alliance on Mental Illness - Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) https://namicobb.org/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/#:~:text=The%20individual%20may%20also%20experience,outbursts%20or%20acts%20of%20aggression
PSY-Visions - The long-term impact of PTSD https://www.psy-visions.com/2020/05/22/the-long-term-impact-of-ptsd/
National Library of Medicine - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: The Management of PTSD in Adults and Children in Primary and Secondary Care https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21834189/
Illinois Library - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Common Assistive Technologies https://guides.library.illinois.edu/c.php?g=454355&p=3103723
Frontiers in Psychology - Defining the PTSD Service Dog Intervention: Perceived Importance, Usage, and Symptom Specificity of Psychiatric Service Dogs for Military Veterans https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01638/full
I found information through articles and readings about the disability and understood the medical symptoms and consequences of having PTSD, agoraphobia and rage, etc. However, I feel the most critical insight about people with these conditions is to hear their experiences. I find it more essential than internet-based or reading based because the reading experience is different from hearing them. The information found on the internet is more of a simplified version of everyone's experience into one concise page.
However, I struggled to find people with these conditions to discuss, mainly because people who have a disability don't necessarily have PTSD, agoraphobia or anxiety. I did not want to use my experience as a reference because it is biased and significantly individualised experience. So the way I understood what the disorder entails was by looking at interviews and stories.
(Websites & Articles)
American Psychiatrist - Association Patient Story: PTSD https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/patient-story
The Talkspace Voice - Mental Health Diary: PTSD https://www.talkspace.com/blog/mental-health-diary-ptsd/
Healthy Place - Coping With Feeling Overwhelmed in PTSD Recovery https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/traumaptsdblog/2016/08/coping-with-feeling-overwhelmed-in-ptsd-recovery
Anxiety & Depression Association of America - My Story of Survival: Battling PTSD https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/personal-stories/my-story-survival-battling-ptsd
(Video)
I spent a day with AGORAPHOBICS https://youtu.be/JS7yXjAZrxg
Once I understand the condition, I immediately started brainstorming the narrative (identifying difficulties). I decided to illustrate the life of a disorder in a visual book to turn invisible into something visible for the people to understand. People understand what they can see externally, so by turning it visible. I hope to challenge people's assumption of what disability looks like. Anyone can walk past but not be visibly detected as someone with an internal disability.
(Blueprint of the Mise en Scene of each period)
Originally I wanted to do a film format so I can show a "realistic" story. I had to cancel the idea of doing film format because of the complexity of the condition and limiting the flexibility of adding or fixing scenes. So I decided to stick with illustrations.
I started getting inspiration. I could use my style (monochromatic and sketchy), but because of how serious this condition. I decided to do a more colourful and lighter illustration of the "day of the life". So I did researches and found references.
I started illustrating a pictorial story using the camera layout blueprint to structure the visual narrative. This process was pretty easy to execute, and I enjoyed doing part of the process. I know I am illustrating a severe condition, but I want to talk about mental illness and express abstractly and artistically to convey a message.
Initially, the criteria were confusing, but I focused on covering the disability, consequences, and insight. I could add those other aspects, but I chose to cover the main things and not overly complicate the whole story by adding too many elements.
Once I finished, I asked my peers whether my story is straightforward and flows. I also checked whether I needed to make additional changes.
I managed to cover:
the chosen disability
consequences of having limitations
insight developed.
Identification of difficulties
Briefly mentioned Assistive devices in the first period.